274. - Chris & Jason

All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Stateside with Kai and Carter, a new podcast from The Guardian. And they are using this podcast to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions that we all have about what's happening in the world. And they do it three times a week, Jason. Does that sound familiar to you? We don't really talk about, you know, a lot of international global news items and climates and cultures and sports and things like that. We do talk about fashion and wellness, but for everything else, Kai and Carter are a great place. All right, so who couldn't use more news? Listen wherever you get your podcast. or watch on YouTube. How long gone? What's up? We're here in TJ's halfway remodeled guest room slash office. It's not an office slash guest room yet, but it's... I disagree. I think once you get the love seat, I'm stretching out a love seat. My right ankle is elevated. There's a couple of plants. Jason's got the best part though. And I don't want to blow up your spot, but you look by Jason's computer and there's drugs. Like he's a 22 year old. There's a bag of Coke. There's a bag of ketamine. There's a razor blade. There's some mushrooms. It's really, it's, it's, well, you have to, what do you have to do? What do you mean? What do I have to do? I mean, I just, it's just, Do you keep those there to kind of inspire you, or do you keep them there to remind you how much fun you could be having instead of working on a podcast? I think that's a victim of being mid-remodel. I haven't found a home for the drugs yet. They used to all live on a common dinner plate, but my life partner let me know that leaving a plate out in your office with a small... Biodegradable straw and a razor blade. And don't get it twisted. The straw is biodegradable. Luckily, it's paper. Yeah, it's a paper straw. That's from Whole Foods. I can spot that straw from a mile away. I do hard drugs made for horses, but none of that's going to end up in a landfill. And that's what really matters, because if we have this plant to survive, we have to snort responsibly. Actually, this straw that I use for my ketamine, if you plant it,

in the dirt it'll it'll grow native not you know non-intrusive native native drought resistant plants wow and that's not for me or you that's for our future generation that is and i i love that you're not only thinking about and if you and if you wake up from a k-hole like you do you know you do too much ketamine you just wake up it's four days later yeah And that straw is kind of still up in your nose. It's a mucous membrane area. So you might get a few sproutlings. Oh, you could actually, you're saying you could grow something internally. If the flora and fauna are. If they work together in a way that maybe you weren't expecting. Look, I don't want to get into the semantics of pH levels in the soil development, but it's rare, but it can happen. It can happen. That's a good thing to know because I think we have a lot of drug users that listen to this podcast. So if any of you guys wake up. you know, with a little growth in your nose, please send us a picture. I also have my jolt eye drops out. Shout out to the jolt family. Which is about as much fun as you can have while avoiding the bookings, beloved. Jolt eye drops are literally the only, like that's a high for me. They feel so good. It really does, it burns off that layer that you need. So you have pre-workout, you have... eye drops that burn you uh-huh what other i guess what are some natural highs that you can get i should get into like scalding hot showers maybe like like dangerously hot showering my chick do that but you gotta you gotta do cold bro i don't like cold showers i don't i mean i i've done it i do it from time to time during the summer if i'm post run i can't stop sweating especially in the big apple you know you have to walk somewhere i don't like doing fucking turkish get-ups either but It's got to be done. Great point. Great point. I don't like doing my half marathons. You've literally never run a mile. But I have been working on my kettlebell swings and my one-arm swings, which I'm feeling like are giving me some oblique definition I didn't expect. So you'll do a swing through the legs and then up straight arm? Yeah, just straight arm, but I do 100 as a warm-up. Yeah, that's good. But Hunter sometimes pushes back on the bell.

creating that resistance at the top oh like you'll you'll try to swing it and he'll put oh push it down oh wow that's right no that's good you do a hundred of those no it's it's it's rough but i i never had really focused on the form before and he's got me i didn't realize how close the ball is to your balls like it's supposed to snap back and hit your ass like you're not like you see people getting too low it's like actually such a very close yeah motion and then yesterday i was at undefeated because i was getting some pt from from front of the show bill shout out to bill and i i worked out after because it was timed right and i was watching the room do kettlebell swings i was like damn i got good form like my man was like you know how to do this i'm like thank you yeah most people have bad form with the kettlebells i just feel like it's an injury opportunity if you if you're flailing around it's a herniated disc waiting to happen exactly but yeah i learned luckily i don't know how but like a long time ago i learned the proper form for the swing and it really helped me out where the guy was saying that was teaching me was saying, it's got to be a thrust from your hips. It's sort of simulating a sexual act. I don't want to take it that far. I try to separate the gym and sex from each other, even though... No, there's so many through lines. I know you're the guy that lays down with his upper back on the bench, and you have the full bar. and you've got the pad on your waist, and you're just thrusting upwards, looking around to see if any of these tatted-up Armenians are looking at your bulge. Do I want a Brazilian butt lift, or do I want it the old-fashioned way? You're not only saving money, but you're improving your body and protecting yourself from herniated disc. If our listeners don't know what you're talking about, your back's on the bench kind of sideways. Your feet are on the floor. You have a little pad on your pelvic region. A bench press bar is on top of that. A full bar. And you're thrusting upwards toward God. You're pressing upwards. And this is a key to the kettlebell swing is the quad flex. Oh, yeah. You got to flex the quads. You know, quad flexing also I've learned, and maybe you know this because you've been rehabbing for a while, big part of the stretch. Oh, yeah. Like you flex the quads on and off and the stretch is much deeper that way than if you just hold it.

for a minute all i do is quad bro i know but i love to see i'm loved you would never know by looking at my legs but that's true i wouldn't but as long as you feel like it's helping that's what's more important actually yes just yesterday when i was at equinox a trainer woman came up to me and uh and then i put my mask back on and then she was like no no no it's not that I thought I was about to be scolded. That's very cool for her to acknowledge that that's not a problem versus just launching into whatever she wanted to say. She came into it like, I'm the cool substitute teacher. What kind of tattoos did she have? She had none. She had none. Like I was saying in the group chat, there was a small, sturdy Latinx trainer there, the type of person who would be doing that pelvic thrust workout. That's a workout that's only done by... Five foot tall. Five foot tall chicks in Gymshark matching sets that like. The nobles are cemented to the floor. The nobles are ground into the padded floor. But there is a certain type of chick at the gym that shows up. This happens at Easton too where it's like they're sturdy as hell. They're wearing a matching Gymshark set. Weird sneakers that are like maybe Pumas. You know what I mean? They got the Beats by Dre over ears and all they do is heavy butt stuff. All they're doing is the heaviest deadlifts and squats they can do. And I'm like, you know that this is only part of the pie. There's supposed to be some variety here. Yeah, it's like people who get a new car and they just spend $8,000 on a carbon fiber spoiler. And you're like, that's one part of it. That's nice that you did that, but there's some other elements here. It's like the five elements of hip-hop, something you know very well. I'm more of a breaker. Historically. You can't just put sugar. You need a little salt. You need a little acid. Oh, don't do it. You need a little heat. Damn. Samin just rolled over in her podcast studio. But yeah, this trainer woman came up to me and she's like, looks like you've been working your quads a lot lately. And I was like, oh, I'm recovering from an injury. And she got all into it. And we were talking and I was like, yeah, I heard it playing tennis. And she's like, I never played tennis, blah, blah, blah.

And then we were talking about golf, and I was like, golf, you take up too much time, and you're not really ever getting a workout. And I was just doing my normal bullshitting, and then she just was silent, like staring at me for two minutes, and she was like, I really like your philosophies on working out. I have to use that line. That's cool that you made a friend at the gym, though. I've been making a lot of friends. I've been going so much lately that all the trainers are starting to talk to me. Unfortunately, the Equinox level of training. Equinox trainers are the starter pack of trainers. What? You don't make any money. You don't train anybody that's serious. Because like – Bro, there's trainers at like 24-hour fitness, like Planet Fitness. This is a gym that costs over $200 a month. There's gyms that cost $20 a month. It doesn't matter. The 24-hour fitnesses, we don't even – that doesn't even register on my – come on. Got it. We don't even look at that. We don't look at price tags when it comes to working out. That data is not considered. No, but the problem with the Equinox trainers is I feel like they get like updates from corporate. Like, hey, we got this new – like when I was going to Equinox, they had this like – metal hollow cylinder with handles on it that you like swing oh yeah okay and it's like this is a fake piece of equipment nowhere else has this equinox made this i think the trainer's like mandated to like incorporate that into the workouts like i'm all set like there's an agenda there's like a corporate agenda to the training that i don't want any part of and where every other gym their trainer's agenda is which of these chicks can i fuck exactly that's the same in equinox let's not get it but that is the same in equinox and i always feel bad I always feel empathetic for the one. It's just like the mountain lion and the pack of deer. You go to the one that's alone. You corner them somewhere near the step machines, maybe the elliptical. That's the cardio that those stocky chicks do. That's the only cardio they do. They don't jog. Do a step machine, and they're going real slow. They're going slow as fuck for an hour and a half. But they're taking thoughtful steps, though. They got a hoodie on. They got a dirty Astroworld hoodie on, hood up. But their hair and makeup is not affected. A sweat is not created. We went to yoga last week, and one of the chicks was like, so sick. Just like didn't do any, just laid down and had a mask on where you don't have to wear a mask.

So you don't have to wear a mask in yoga because you go to your mat and you're stationary, so I guess that's like a workaround for the rules. Everyone's six feet apart, I'm sure. Exactly, yeah. And she was rolling around, and after the class, I was like, what the fuck is going on? That girl didn't do anything, and all Alex said was, shit on purple eyeshadow. I didn't even notice that. I'm like, that is psycho, though. It seems excessive and fun to... What is it, $30, $40 a class? Yeah, $30. To show up to a hot yoga class where the idea is to sweat as much as possible with purple eyeshadow on is pretty extreme. And to just lay there. Yeah, I was like, maybe she's famous? It's like feeding your dog caviar. It's just like, fuck it. It serves no... You can go to the infrared if you want to do that and sweat more. Some people like to be around others. I love to be around others as well. I like to share, sweat. with other people we've heard about your little sauna escapades dripping down yeah we we know you like to that's not necessarily sweat you're sharing but we can discuss yeah the whenever yeah whenever like i was saying whenever you have the the the solo girl and then the the shitty ass trainer goes up and you know you say he'll say something to her and then she'll have to be like Oh, hold on a second. Let me stop my music that I was listening to. So you're going to make me turn off J. Cole to hear you tell me about my form? I have to ceremoniously turn my J. Cole off because you have very important information to ask me. And then you take the headphones off and you say, I'm sorry, I didn't hear you. What did you say? And then they go like, oh, I was just saying like. The forms. Keep your heels down. If you really want to do that, I would just, to protect your back, keep your heels down. You've got to put the weight in the heels. And then that will go on for five minutes, and then the girl will just look at her treadmill information and just hit the stop button and be like. All right, I guess I'm going to stop working out and go over a tear now because there's no other way you're going to stop talking to me. It's honestly insane and unavoidable. And it never stops. You would think that someone in corporate at Equinox would be like, hey, guys, let's not try to pick up on every attractive girl in the day. They make so little money that the only plus to the job is being around people that make more money than you and are hot. Yeah. And also the weird part is you sort of like,

When you go a bunch, you're like, okay, that's the cool trainers. That's the shitty douchey trainers. But then the bummer is you don't form enemies with these people, but it's sort of like a workplace dynamic where there's 10 coworkers that you see every single day. You don't know their names maybe, but you just see them and you're like, oh, that guy sucks. That guy's cool. I don't like these people. But then the problem is the equalizer is at some point this person that you don't like. is going to see your dick. You know, you're going to be in the locker room, you're going to be coming out of the shower, you're going to be in the sauna, whatever it is. Never thought about that. And I'm going to be like, this guy who I'm always like an asshole to just saw my bare asshole, you know? I... Another reason. The power struggle is offset. Another reason why I've never showered in a gym. I didn't know that was a reason, but now I think. But you could also big dog them, I guess. But the problem is all the trainers. The guys in the locker room that big dog, the guys that just walk around, hog out like it's nothing, it's too much. And I know we should be. I know that that's what locker rooms are for. You know what I mean? In a lot of ways, it's a safe space for men to let their hogs out. And it's not even, like, sexual in nature. It's just, like, I don't think that's necessary. Like, I wouldn't feel comfortable doing that myself. Of course it's not necessary. But it's just, like, it's just, I haven't seen that in a while, but usually it's guys over a certain age because when they were coming up, you know, that's what a locker room was. That's what a locker room was, full open nudity, but also. Once you hit a certain age, you stop caring about those things so much. That's true. You stop caring about how your body looks. You're like, what is this gay heel shit you guys are using? I'm just here to dry off and let you see what I look like. Check me out, dog. But now all the trainers are starting to try to interact with me. Figure out what it is that I do. Yeah, of course. I mean, if you're at the gym, I was telling Hunter that you just tried pre-workout and that you're upset that they only validate for two hours. He was like, damn, he's really there for four hours? I'm like, yeah, but he's just like walking backwards on the treadmill for an hour of it. And then he's drying off for an hour. It's not like you're putting in insane work for four hours. It's a whole process. Well, I have a system now. A lot has changed in the last week.

So I'll go in. Are you talking about Jussie Smollett again? Are you talking about your workout? I had a moment like that yesterday. I had a Jussie moment. Did you? Yeah, there's a guy in the sauna who was trying to look in my penis area the whole time. And then he would get up and walk around and look at me. Was he hot? He was not hot. Why are they never hot? Oh, this is huge for me personally. This episode of How I'm Gone. It was brought to you by TaskRabbit. Oh, baby, let me tell you something. This is not a joke. I use TaskRabbit a lot because I can't do anything. You need some art hung? TaskRabbit. You need something put together? A cabinet? Got to reach that cheese grater on the top shelf? TaskRabbit. Anything you need, TaskRabbit can take care of it for you. How it works, TaskRabbit connects you with skilled taskers in your area. They can help you move. They can assemble furniture, repairs, yard work, mounting, and more. You can search for a tasker based on cost, skill set, availability, and past client reviews so you know exactly who's showing up and can have confidence that they know what they're doing because taskers have assembled over 3.4 million pieces of furniture, completed 700,000 home repairs. handled 1.5 million moves, and the numbers are just going up, Jason. Yeah, throw a little money at the problem. It's not so expensive, and that job that you really don't want to do is something that another person out in the world is very good at doing and would gladly do it in exchange for a little bit of money. So when life happens, your to-do list grows. Get ahead of it now and get $15 off your first task at TaskRabbit.com or grab the TaskRabbit app using promo code how long taskers book up faster, especially for same day tasks. So book trusted home help today. That is $15 off your first task using promo code how long with the TaskRabbit app or at TaskRabbit.com. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by a new podcast from The Guardian stateside with Kai and Carter. This is covering a lot of our bases, Jason. It's trying to slow down.

The news and wrestle with the questions we all have about what's happening in the world. And I know you particularly have quite a lot of questions. A lot of questions. But how often? Because we do this podcast three times a week and that's a sweet spot. How many times do they do? Three times a week. And I have a feeling just based on the platform and these talking points that they're maybe going to be covering different stuff than we do. That's just a guess. The Guardian is not some billionaire owned. They're not afraid to say what they want to say, brother. Yeah, Rupert ain't sniffing around in what journalists Kai Wright and Carter Sherman are up to over there at Stateside. But yeah, listen wherever you get your podcasts. You can watch it on YouTube. It's three times a week. And who couldn't use more news? You know, especially when it's not, you know, from here, let's say. Give it a listen. Give it a listen. All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Quince. Jason, the temps are warming up. It's getting hot out there. Summer always changes how I get dressed. I need pieces that feel lighter, more breathable, and they're just easy but still put together. I don't want to look like a slob. That's why I keep coming back to Quince. They focus on high-quality essentials that feel and look amazing. Breathable linen and soft organic cottons. Well-made basics but without the luxury markups. That rare balance where everything feels elevated. but still effortless. Yeah, Chris, linen season is here. I wore a linen blazer to dinner a few nights ago in the warm California sun. But, you know, you got that Italy trip coming up this summer and quality European linen pants and shirts. Upgrade that look starting at just $34. You know, if you get a nice linen suit, a little t-shirt underneath it, some chill shoes, you're looking good, but you're staying cool. The inside of your special areas are nice and dry as you turn up with your besties. So elevate that summer wardrobe. Go to quince.com slash how long for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns, even on a nice holiday now available in Canada.

That is Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash how long. That'll get you free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince punto com slash how long. And then there's an older gay guy who had his fingernails and his toenails were painted. But he was like a normal, respectful guy. He was like, all right, I'm just here to look. I'm not going to make you feel intimidated or creepy. But then when the guy who was really putting it on, he walked, took one last lap, and then opened the door of the sauna and then looked over his shoulder one last time with kind of like these puppy dog eyes of like, here's your last chance to let me suck your dick. And then I was like, mm-mm. And then he left. This is a constant challenge for you. It's not that big of a deal. I don't really mind. So my new plan, I go to the gym. Yeah. You know, driving, stamp my two hours. Yeah. I go in. I do an hour on the treadmill. Walk straight out to my car. Leave the parking lot. No, bro. Do an instant U-turn. Go back in. Go back in. Get a new card. walk in and get it validated again. And then I begin. You're a certified freak now. This is literally why. There's no other option. You need an assistant. This is what you need an assistant for. Well, the problem, the assistant's going to just stand next to me and then when two hours is up. No, they're going to sit in the car. They're going to park on the street. Oh, okay. And then just you're, it's like when. That's maniac behavior. That's what I'm trying to do. That's what I mean. Well, if you have enough money to do that, then you have enough money to just pay the parking. Yeah, but it's a principal issue. I mean, I know you're cheap, TJ, but it's also a principal issue for you. I learned the hard way that you can't get a new parking ticket unless you're in a car because it has the sensor in it. Oh, so you try to walk... I tried to just go on foot, get a new one, and go bang it up. I had it all worked out in my head. So you're like the drunk guy going through the McDonald's drive-thru on foot. Exactly. And they're like, bro, that's not how this works. Sir, we're sorry. We can't serve you unless you're in a Chevy Malibu. And then I'm starting to wonder. I'm looking at the ground. I'm like, what's the weight that's going to allow it? So if I had a horse, you just walk out there with two plates on the bell. Yeah, how many plates do I have to lay on the ground before it'll spit out a ticket for me? The thought of you taking one.

One plate out at a time of the gym and stacking it where a car would be to get the ticket out. Taking like 45 minutes longer than it would be just to get the car. That's 3D chess. It was really frustrating. When all this went down, it was raining. So I go out there. I try to get a ticket. It doesn't spit one out because I'm on foot. So then I have to go back inside the gym all the way up the stairs. Go to the locker room. Do the combination on the locker. Get my car keys. Walk out back into the rain. go into my car, start it up, leave, U-turn, back in, another. It was tough. Luckily, traffic isn't too crazy, you know, like 2 in the afternoon on a Monday. So at least you have that going for you. Yeah, but, I mean, an hour on the treadmill walking backwards while holding a kettlebell in each arm. I'm sweating. Yeah, that's great. That's good. I love to hear. I'm so happy to see that you've figured out something that works for you. Yeah, barbarian style workouts. Yeah, because you're a barbaric guy, you know what I mean? So it kind of fits. I never thought about it before. Yeah, and working out in the rain, it's better for that. But I need to go to like a parking lot. Doing anything in the rain makes you feel like fucking Hercules. I got to go parking lot. I got to get the Telfar boots that are weighted. Weighted Telfar boots. Shirt off, 50 pound kettle in each hand. Weighted vest. Weighted vest is... And then like the two inch thick... like for a shipping chain around the waist, and I'm dragging not a tire, but something even more sinister. Something bigger. Maybe a small car. No, no, no, because wheels. That makes it too easy. No, it's a Honda CRV on bricks. No, I think it's just like a transmission that's just scraping across a home people parking lot. There's a little bit of fire coming out. There's a spark, yeah. Well, it's funny you mentioned the Telfar boots, because after watching this, boring-ass Kanye Drake show where he's wearing the knee-high red wings with the free Larry Hoover vintage Levi's tucked in. I saw a Larry Hoover periwinkle hoodie at the gym yesterday. No, bro. Unlike a 19-year-old white girl who doesn't even know who Larry Hoover is, is not even a member of the Gangster Disciple. So I was trying to understand the Larry Hoover component to this. By the way, the show, I don't know if you watched it. I made it through. Definitely not. I mean.

It opens with, of course, a Jesus choir, and they change the lyrics to popular songs to make them about God. So they did Easy on Me by Adele, but it was all about God. Like, take it easy on me, Father, or whatever. They would throw in these lyrics. They sound incredible, but it's corny as hell. Then Drake and Kanye come out. MJ gone, Moses dead. Exactly. MJ gone, Moses dead. And then they walk out. They both are wearing stupid shit. The set is cool in the way they film it. It's cool. Everything else is so boring. They both look like Mega Man. Bro, Kanye was huffing and puffing like a damn, like, this man has not been on a treadmill in a minute. It reminded me, because I did see some little clips of him, because it's just like, oh, all I have to do is pace around the Los Angeles Olympic Coliseum, a massive structure. Massive. And that's a lot of square footage for him to hoof around. Maybe they're like, all right, next time we try to free Larry Hoover. So I was trying to understand this Larry Hoover thing. I'm not built like Harry Styles where you can just mince about. Harry is stomping around that stage in four-inch Cuban heels like at Nathan. He's doing laps. He's doing laps. I mean, I can't even imagine what his Fitbit is doing at the end of a show. What if Harry's got like a Gucci Fitbit? One of one Alessandro custom Gucci Fitbit? So I was trying to understand this Larry Hoover thing. I guess Larry Hoover is serving a life sentence for selling crack. And murder, too. Well, no, hold on. So he's serving a life sentence, but he's on this insane super max security prison where he doesn't see other people at all. They bring the shower to you and shit. I learned this on the Joe Biden podcast. So it's like he's quarantining in a hotel. Exactly. It's like I'm trying to go back to Australia to visit my family. But I guess he's in jail for crack, which people are upset about. And I agree, no one should get a life sentence for selling drugs. That's crazy. I don't know how many drugs you're selling. But I think if he – so he needs to – he's awaiting trial for the other stuff is my understanding, like the bigger crimes. Yes. I still don't understand why this is the cause we've chosen. Like I think it's because Jay Prince is tight with Larry Hoover and Jay Prince put the whole thing together.

Drake just got simped on. Kanye was like, all right, you're going to play some new shit that nobody really cares about. I'm going to play my 10 hits that are the greatest peak of my career. And I don't know why Drake would allow that. Yeah, I wondered about that because I don't know how... If I'm Drake, I'm looking at Kanye and I'm kind of like, you're not in a position... We're equals now pretty much in terms of size and ability to sell tickets. easily but i think that drake unfortunately if i'm drake i'm like i'm not really here to take orders from you this is more of a mutual no i think drake i think drake unfortunately has to be like that's my og because he like grew up listening to it so no matter how big he gets he has to respect he still is like bro i remember where i was when i heard jesus walks you know i mean i was in the club i was driving the acura i had no money there is that there is that which i get but at the same time it's like I think Drake is also just a master, so I feel like there's a reason for all of this. Like, I think he's more of a... This is a long play. Yeah, I think he's more of a long... Because they also... Kanye's letting his guard down. He thinks that he can manhandle Drake, and then Drake's going to come out. But I truly was like... It's just honestly... It's kind of like jujitsu. It's incredible what people... Like, the reaction people have. Like, I literally watched this and was like, damn, these guys are boring as fuck. This is not good. It doesn't sound good. Even the GOAT, Mike Dean, didn't help. You know what I mean? Unfortunately, Mike Dean's synths were a little too loud. I think the problem, and yeah, it reminded me of when I saw Rick Ross at the Nova. We were talking about the Nova recently. Who played at the Nova? Azealia Banks did two nights there. Oh, that's right. We were talking about Patrick. With Luciana on the last episode. But I saw Rick Ross there. And the Nova, you know, it's a smaller venue. I don't know. Maybe. thousand cap room or something like that compared to the coliseum which is 90 000 cap and you know the stage is about 15 feet wide by 10 feet deep something like that and ross sat down on side fill monitors between every song you know because but he's like he had the presence of mind to be like all right i'm gonna do you know i'm gonna do like three songs

where you don't do the whole song you do the first verse explosion sound straight into nine piece straight eight ball explosion sound and then gunshot explosion sound someone hands him a towel and then he's like i'm gonna sit down catch my breath for 45 seconds come out and do it again and kanye he didn't stop to take breaks he didn't he just went through it and his uh He didn't have enough gas in the tank. We need to get Kanye on the assault bike. You know what I mean? He needs to start. He needs to get on the skier. I mean, just him walking around probably burns a lot of calories. But according to the way his face looks. Yeah, we think so. We've been going over this in the group chat. We're pretty sure Kanye got some work done Kardashian style. He was wearing his. Baklava. Balaclava. Well, he was wearing different. But then for two weeks, he was wearing just a full Halloween rubber mask. His full Halloween mask was covering up his fillers setting. Which is a great life hack because most people, if someone's getting an injury, rehabilitation surgery, got to put some pins in my ankle, whatever. We wait until off-season. We do that. If we're going to go get our butt done, titties done, face done, we have to schedule it. We're going to leave the public eye, but Kanye is like, I still need to go to Raisin Cane's for my nine-piece, so I'll just wear a Halloween mask. I still need to go to St. Ambrose to link with Michael Cohen, so I need this mask to cover up that my fillers need a little more time to calm down. So he's able to operate throughout the world with his face covered in bandages, blood, and pus. He honestly had something. He definitely had something done. But I don't know. I just got tatted, so when you cover up that wound, they have the clear plastic saran tape, the dressage going on. But you've got to let it breathe, too. It's an injury. And with his mask, it's creating a hot kind of petri dish environment where, I don't know, it might be retarding the healing process. Maybe, though, because he doesn't exert himself in any way. He's getting in an Escalade, it's driving him somewhere, and he's sitting calmly. That's a good point.

And there's a mouth hole. There's not a ton of exhaust coming out of his tailpipe, as it were. Yeah, he's not rolling coal. That's what I'm saying. But his face do look fucked up. It looks fucked up, man. Because everyone has their angles. And then when you have, like sometimes a flash photography image will be captured of me at nighttime. and it'll hit it from the right angle and i'll and i'll be like who is this person i don't recognize myself because you see yourself in a weird way sure there's a lot of photos of kanye from that coliseum show where he didn't look like the same person that we know and hate to the to the point where it appears that some work had been done and that's and then we saw the photos of tom cruise oh my god tom cruise he looks like he's on his full like shiny squirrel vibe like shiny squirrel vibe yeah like cheek so puffy like like he's holding acorns in there okay he looks terrible but i think kanye unfortunately i don't think kanye is getting kim back even though he's making these these grandiose pleas for her to return i think she's like i got some davidson dick to take the attention off and i'm moving on she's like i want to continue the divorce i want my last name back type shit yeah i i don't think i would i know nothing that kanye does is screaming, this man is on the right track to getting back to normalcy. I also think that he deeply inflates his net worth. Well... There's no way that he's worth even close to a billion dollars. There's absolutely no way. I don't know, man. There's no way. He makes a lot of money. It doesn't matter. He spends a lot of money. He spends a lot of money. There's no way. Yeah, but he probably has... private investment for a lot of his businesses paying his payroll and he has a shitload of employees but that's not coming out of pocket i bet it is because he's a fucking nut job like that's what guys like that do like frank ocean's got a staff to make that ugly ass jewelry because he's like i want this to happen i'm gonna pay for it like kanye making clothes do the same in that position though probably no i would not you never spend your own money on yeezy clothing like are you fucking kidding but these guys are so maniacal and think they're such a genius that there's no way it could go wrong

I feel like those guys are able to talk Adidas into giving him a fat budget for employees. No, Kanye got Adidas money for a long time, but I think that's no longer... Right. He has a lot of enterprises. Yeah, I think they paid for a lot of things for a long time. I don't think that is the case anymore. You know what I mean? Amazon, I guess, paid for the production of this Larry Hoover benefit concert. Yeah, but he makes a lot of money from his live shows, man. He hasn't done a live show in years. Yeah, I guess so. The Sunday service shit, he has to give that all to God. Well, he doesn't pay those people because it's church. He don't tax either. It's so sick. He's on his Joel Osteen shit and people believe it. It's honestly crazy to me what he's been able to do. Convince the world that we need to hear a Lauryn Hill song with Christian lyrics. That's insane. I was thinking about when people die. You know, like when people die and it gets worse and worse when on Twitter they're like, oh, I have to share this screenshot of my conversation with Virgil. Or I have to post about how this person that has never met me changed my life and try to get clout off of someone's death. Of course. And that happens now with podcasts a lot where whenever somebody dies, they'll... re-upload the episode where they talk to them in 2014 there's marin being like posting alec baldwin episode after he gets in trouble for shooting yeah so like that so when doing that is like a clear money grab of like all right this person's hot in the news no marin's the king of the death repost but a lot of people do it i didn't know that a lot of people do it now it's like a new trend obviously because so dax shepard reposted the juice world episode is that what you're saying But that's a prime example of something that could happen. But this is the only form of media where that really happens. Like if somebody dies, they don't just like play the SNL where they hosted or like, no, or, you know, Fallon doesn't do like, oh, here's the episode where we, where I had Alec Baldwin on like no other form of media where, where that has ever happened until this very moment. And it makes you wonder like,

How much of it is a money grab and how much of it is just like showing like a legitimate memorial for somebody like, oh, this person just died. I want to consume a bunch of content from them because they're top of mind right now. I think it's a little bit of both. And you can't say it's both. Which one is? Well, no, I think that the problem is with our world today is that we think, especially me, I just think everything is disingenuous. Like I'm just conditioned now to think everything is disingenuous. I don't care who's doing it or what it is. I'm just like, it's for money or it's for likes. There's, there's only two things people care about. And I'm, I'm the same way. I'm not, you know, well, I want, okay. So are you the type of person when, cause like when somebody dies and it could be like, there was a music critic that just passed last week and there's a lot of people writing stuff and sharing old articles, but. I don't know how many people want to reconsume a bunch of someone's content right after they died. It only happened to me with, like, Norm MacDonald, maybe. But, like, if a musician dies, I don't instantly feel the desire to play his or hers catalog instantly. Or if an actor dies, I'm not like, all right, I'm going to go do an eight-hour marathon of all their films. No, definitely not. Or if a writer dies, I don't go back and... I need to check out a bunch of their articles. I'll read the obituary for sure that reminds you of all this stuff and kind of lays out the work and the life. And then I'm good. You know what I mean? Maybe I post a picture somewhere if they're cool looking. Yeah. You know what I mean? Back when they were hot. Yeah, back when they were hot. It's like your parents on Father's Day or Mother's Day. There's like a picture of her at Joan Didion's house in Malibu 78. But I do think that it's just... Look how cool the kitchen is. I can't say that I really do think it's both. I mean, I think if you're a news outlet and you repost old shit, I think that that will happen with Greg. That was like, you know, it's Village Voice stuff. Village Voice is reposting. You know what I mean? I think that's reasonable to me for some reason. I think that's reasonable as well. But yeah, a picture with the person.

or that kind of stuff, I'm all set. Your picture with the person is always so bad. People do that for anybody. It's always a photo that both of you look so bad that when you took the photo, you didn't even post it. But then when somebody's like, well, this is the only photo I got of us DJing together in 2017. They were fat. I was fat. It's a terrible angle. I look like shit. But you've got to post it. No, it's really... And what do you get out of that? It's pretty dark. That's the thing. All of your friends are going to be like, damn, you met this person one time? Oh, man, RIP. There's no productive conversation that comes out of that. But podcasts, I didn't really know that except for Maren. I didn't know that was like more of a – Yeah, it does happen. I mean, Maren does it a lot. Well, it's also because he has the deepest catalog probably. So it's like – Yeah, and he talks to a lot of old people. But also, is it Maren's idea or is it like his producer? He doesn't have a network that does it whether he likes it or not. So I guess it is his call. It's 100% him being like, damn. All right, well, I guess I can take the week off then if we post this. You know what I mean? Yeah, I didn't think about it. Did he look at it as like, oh, I can finally take the week off? He's like, when the fuck is Norman Lear going to die? This guy's old as fuck. I got two episodes of this motherfucker. I just wonder how that goes down of like, does Marin's producer text him and be like, yo, they got. Blank. And then he's like, do it. I can go to Langer's for lunch. 100% what it is. Instead of talking to the guy from Friday Night Live. I'll fucking do that. Or is it Marin being like, oh shit, did I talk to blah blah blah? Yeah, 2013. Run it up. Depending on who it is, I think it's both. Like, I think it's both. It's just so, what a sinister combo to have with your team, you know? But it's like when you, you know, when you, those obituaries for a lot of people, like, for example, you see, if it's somebody older, the New York Times obituary is up in five minutes because they have it ready. It's already ready. You look at someone like Virgil where it's like a full tragedy out of nowhere, it takes like three, four hours.

which is kind of insane for someone who's that famous and, and you know, that like, I mean, important in the scheme of things. So it's like, I just don't, I don't know, man. It's so torched. The whole thing is so fucking torched. I mean, the text thing, the Virgil thing is like really strange because I think that he was known, he was so well known for communicating like that. And it was like part of his thing that he spoke about. And I think that's why that became a thing. But for the New York Times to publish text messages on a full page just seems crazy to me. But I guess if people send – I mean, what do you – That's the difference of taking the time to respond to a fan's message with a heartfelt response versus you just double tapping it or it saying seen by done to death at 9.49 a.m. And then all – no one's going to post that when you pass. And when I pass on the Peloton after having my cigar ride. After you do the Grateful Dead ride with a cigar on the Peloton, you die? Yeah, and people are going to post all the screenshots of TJ where they respond to a lasagna photo with, get in my belly, and then I say, LOL, and they're going to be like, damn. No, I mean, I think it's a I think it's like a testament to what kind of guy he was. And that's why it happened. And I think it became this like trend, of course. But it's also like, I mean, bro, people were posting fucking BFA posted videos of the funeral. Like it's it's fucking crazy. But you can't. I don't know if it's fair because I thought about this a lot. I don't know if it's fair for anyone to judge how other people. Grief. No, that's not fair. But I think there's two different types of people. There's people that run towards and run away from death. I think that's the distilled version of it where some people are like, dying sucks and it's the worst part of life, period, as a human being. And it's like, what's better or what's worse? Trying to avoid that or trying to... I don't know.

Find hope in it or find beauty in it? Or are people even finding beauty in death anymore? Other than a heartfelt speech at a funeral, everything else seems just so trite to me. I mean, it's just another thing that social media has ruined death. That's how bad it's gotten out here. You know what I mean? It's not just ruined life. It's also ruined death. We shouldn't be able to post everything, including death stuff. I mean, I think that that... Yeah, at a funeral, it's like... Or a wedding, too. Not anyone gets to talk. Somebody is gatekeeping that. Larry ain't talking today. Yeah, exactly. No, no, exactly. I mean, I don't think it's going to get any better. I'll tell you that, Chief. Oh, it's only getting worse. It's only getting worse. You know what else is getting worse, Jason? People talking about F1. Why were so many people talking about F1 today? Because Lewis Hamilton was the final of the season, and I guess it was a photo finish. everybody loves the lewis hamilton is one of the corniest guys that's ever existed i don't really i thought he was in one direction no no he looks like he could be he dresses like he could be okay he i don't understand why people love him i mean i think it's a big deal obviously because he's black and he's a driver in f1 which is traditionally like white european sport so that that is important i didn't even know that but he's i'm not gonna that is great but he's the worst dressed guy of all time and like he gets a lot of credit for how he dresses and it's like insane but like What athlete dresses well? Calling car racing athletes is insane. They're sitting in a motorized V, and I'm not saying it's a very difficult thing to do. It's a skill, like golf. It's physical and mentally taxing. It's not a sport. It's a skill. I would closer compare it to a horse jockey. Equestrian. But equestrians are hotter in my experience. But they're both dinky, though. Yeah, you've got to be a little dinky. It's not a plus. It's a must. It's just always – it's so interesting to me because F1 is literally just the rich version of NASCAR. Yeah. Well, the rich version and I guess the international version. The international version. Because NASCAR is like America only. Yeah, but I just think that watching – It's like F1 is like soccer and NASCAR is baseball. Yeah. And we're just like, this is the best. This is the best. And then the rest, every other country in the entire world is like –

I mean, F1 is sexier. All of it is watching cars go around in circles. Well, F1, they do left and right turns. NASCAR only does right turns. Good point. I just can't believe that. It's like insane to me when I'm online in the morning and I'm seeing people I know talk about F1. I'm like, what do you know about this shit? You grew up in fucking San Diego. You know, what the fuck? It's crazy. But it's like, I will say. No, I have noticed that as well. I've been to a NASCAR race. And it is pretty cool in person. Like it's insane how – it's like pretty cool for 15 minutes. The sheer scale of it and the noise. The spectacle of it all is a thing. But the clientele for F1 versus NASCAR. Like F1, you're in Monaco. No, but I think F1 is worse in a different way. They used to have an F1. They have a big F1 race in Montreal, and it's literally just like – corny fat guys with Richard Milley's on, like, trying to buy bottles. It's just a different kind of bad. That could be better than whatever's going on in Arkansas. I think you're more of a NASCAR guy. If we had to choose on this podcast, I'm an F1 guy and you're a NASCAR guy, if we really want to get down to it. You're from the South, bro. Yeah, bro, but you would rather have a canned beer in the fucking bleachers. No, no, no, no. Yes. That's who you are. You're salty there, TJ. I want to drink. I want to have my Whispering Angel bottle on ice. I want to be overlooking some type of, you know, on one of those cool turns. Yeah. Maybe a bridge. Yeah. And I want, you know, everyone is dressed a little bit nicer. They've got a suit jacket on, no tie. It sounds like you want to go. NASCAR, it looks like Woodstock 99 every fucking time. It's just like, oh, like people really showed out when you don't have any like. mayonnaise on your shirt. You're more likely to have mayonnaise on your tank top than I am. I'll say that right now. I think you might be cut out for the Indy 500. I have been to a NASCAR event as well. It was a bummer. It's truly... It's like the difference between a county fair and... Like the biggest state fair in Minnesota. The county fair and Cirque du Soleil. Cirque du Soleil is F1.

And the county fair is a NASCAR event. Thank you for putting it that way because that just solidifies. I don't want to go to either. And it's no question. But, yeah, looking at people talking about, it's just funny. But, yeah, whenever I went, like when I was in Italy, F1 shit was everywhere. Yeah, it's huge. But it was a little more tastefully done. Oh, it totally is. Like you'll go into like a liquor store or a little market and there'll be. You know, an F1 poster of a driver. There's a picture of Lewis Hamilton wearing some bedazzled culottes and a see-through tank top with a hat on. Being like, yeah, buy this champagne. I drive fast. Yeah, well, I guess F1, fuck it. I'm jealous because I could never fit into the car. No, I just think it's interesting that it's turning into the thing that Americans are getting up at 5 a.m. You know what I mean? The same way that people watch soccer. Just as boring as watching a soccer match. Arguably more boring, I think, because there's no athleticism. When I see guys running back and forth for an hour in my brain, I'm like, this is fucking hard. And it's very impressive. And these guys are at the... top of like athleticism which is deeply impressive but the main factor is you're probably not going to die in a fiery explosion no when you're when you're i forget about that i guess that is the i love that the appeal of this sport quote unquote is people dying not people dying the fact that people could be dying sure the risk i mean there's a what are other sports people can die the free the free free solo climbing uh the red bull thing where they drive the cars off the of the high high bridge yeah people i don't know if anyone's ever died doing that no you're right you're right we should like the like if you ever watch a documentary on like the rock climber guys and gals yeah free solo that it's just like you know so this is so crazy blah blah blah it's amazing he did and then there's always the 10 minute part of the documentary where it's like it's like that part of the oscars where all the all the fallen soldiers in the game it's just like and also like these 11 guys the best climbers in the world they all like

misplaced their ring finger on a rock and they instantly died. I would say also like extreme, there's like extreme winter sport, you know, like, like back country skiing and all shit like that. The motherfuckers that do Mount Everest. Yeah. That shit is really impressive to me. When you bring a machine into it, I'm less impressed. That's why being the best at working out is something you can't strive for. The high speed boat racing as well. Oh, those things, those motherfuckers flip over. You flip over. You about to die. Maybe TJ, maybe high-speed boat racing is the rich sport for you. That's how they got Aoki's dad. Really? Yeah. Damn, Havasu TJ has just changed his whole outlook. Goddamn. Rocky was racing? Yeah, he was a speedboat racer. All the thrill seekers. See, I don't want to get rich. This is the problem. When you get rich, you start doing shit like that, and then you die. Unless you're using that to move Coke from Cuba to Miami, there's no reason for anyone to have one of those boats. I'm a risk adverse cat when it comes to my bod. I don't like it when one thing could happen that is completely out of your control. Like you could just be going 200 miles an hour on a boat in the ocean and everything is all good. It feels amazing. What a rush. And then one wave moves one thing. You're out. A seal just moves his head out of the water in one moment. Your entire crew is dead in five seconds. That's why, TJ, that's why your favorite water sport is fishing. Exactly. That's why I don't be doing roller coasters. I don't be doing bungee jumping. I don't be doing skydiving. We should do a How Long Gone skydive for the content. No way. I would skydive. I bet you would. I'm terrified of it, but I think I need to try it. Bro, I have no thrills, like I said earlier. It's nothing to me. All you hear about, all I need to hear about is like, oh, yeah. You know, Larry didn't pack the parachute the right way. He folded the left side over before the right side, so I pulled it and I died. It's a good point that the guys that you're strapped to are at the same level as the guys that sold me a Christmas tree a couple weeks ago in the scheme of things. That's a good point. I'm going to school to get my skydiving certification. I'm like, okay. Yeah, that's a good point. Yeah, Dan, maybe I won't do it. I got my masseuse license. Shout out to Rick.

You got a few licenses under your belt now. Just a license getter. Yeah, I'm what you call like a professional student. Instead of finally settling down and choosing a career path, I'm going to grad school. I'm getting my master's. I'm getting my doctorate. And again. I'm getting my doctorate in skydiving. I don't think they offer that program. They may be one of your little community colleges. I know. F1 in the news bugging you. Why is Nancy Reagan in the news right now, Chris? I saw people tweeting about it, and I was like, oh, she's finally dead. You called her Throtus? I think Nancy was known for her Toppy, is my understanding. So what is the source of this information? I don't fully understand this. Because I just saw everyone making memes about Nancy Reagan, and I'm like, oh, she's not dead. So then what happened? And there's no TMZ article, or there's no reason why. Can you imagine 93-year-old Nancy Reagan, somebody having to explain to her that they're calling her Throtus? Hey, Grandma, so I don't know how to tell you this, but I guess you're known for your toppy. And these people online. So somebody somewhere. I don't know. I honestly don't know. I heard that Nancy Reagan. I think I also heard that she allegedly fellated Hollywood's Mr. T at some point. Yeah, because she was like around. She was around. Nancy Reagan having the best throat game in Hollywood feels like a Londo right lyric, but it's not. It's American history. Thank you, Jaboukie. Yes, but there was no article. Oh, here we go, here we go, yeah. Born Anne Francis Robbins, Nancy, the book alleged, was renowned in Hollywood for performing oral sex. Furthermore, she was reportedly known to perform said oral sex not only in the evening, but in offices, and that was one of the reasons that she was very popular on the MGM lot. Whoa. So Nancy would come into the studio exec's office and say, close the door. She's the reverse Harvey Weinstein. Exactly. Damn, she'd pressure you into top you. Damn, good for her. So throw this Nancy Reagan. It's important to find your talents early in life and do not double but triple down on them. This is a great feel-good story. Because you look at Melania.

Do you think she's a generous throat goat? Absolutely not. Melania hasn't seen a dick. No, I think she's fucked. She's fucking a lot, but not Donald. No, I don't think. No, you can't. She can't be running around on Trump. If the block is too hot, she would get caught. No, Trump lets him. They have an open relationship. Yeah, but I think it doesn't matter. If she got caught doing anything like that, like leaving somewhere or something, it would be so bad for them. No, she handles all that in Eastern Europe. That's possible. She'll go fuck a Ukrainian prince or some type of dignitary guy. And then if someone's like, wait a minute, is that Melania Trump? And then as soon as – before you can even finish your thought, there's a red dot on your forehead and someone's putting you in the back of an Audi. Damn. Like in America, you can get caught running out of the Trump Tower, ironically, get photographed by 20 people. It's on TMZ. She knows better than that, so she'll do it in a country where nobody would ever even look in your direction while you're sucking someone's dick because – there's a sword inside of you yeah she's not really noticeable either i mean you know she's wearing like dolce and gabbana wraparound sunglasses and like you blend right in over there on the block that's a good point she looks fucking crazy but yeah nancy congratulations she just seems so tiny and frail i mean i've only known her as an old person i don't know i mean she was pretty hot i mean she was like a hot i mean he was like a hot actor you know what i mean so it's like yeah it kind of i mean It all tracks. She was the Olivia Wilde of the 20s. I don't know if Olivia Wilde's known for anything but marrying. Who's the modern-day Throtus? Who's the Throat Goat? I mean, no one that we know of. I'm not talking about personal friends. Maybe an actress on the rise. I bet you Lana B. I don't know. It doesn't get out like that. It doesn't. Well, not in our circles, and we need to do better. Yeah, don't worry. We should know who's good at.

doing this stuff it should just be more common knowledge it is a really are we i mean because we've only become more gossipy as a as a species yeah but i think that i mean look how long this took to get out bro 60 years i mean you know what i mean we're probably have to wait a little while nancy like damn i almost made it up damn i was close as hell to dying and i'm a little annoyed that this came out so at her funeral the line of speeches People paying their respects is going to be a long cast of fellas. Nancy was so giving. And just so sweet. And which just surprised me. Do you think her pre-written obituary is going to include the word gobbler? Mrs. Reagan. Former First Lady Mrs. Reagan. A.K.A. Gobbler. Gobbler in parentheses. The real gobbler. I watched... SNL with Billie Eilish last night. Is that a new episode? Yeah, she hosted and performed. I gotta say, not bad. Not bad. Taking a page out of Miley book. Honestly, the performances, like, I mean, it was basically just her and fucking little bro. Older bro. But she sounded like crazy. Sounded so good. Damn, good for her. And she did a couple of skits that were like... How are her acting chops? She did a skit. with Kate McKinnon about a hotel, like about a shitty hotel. Kate McKinnon? What is she doing on the show? Isn't that her? The blonde one? Yeah, but I don't think she's on the show anymore. Yeah, she is. She was on leave doing a Tiger King movie. Which is insane. I feel like she left the show 20 years ago. How the fuck are we still talking about Tiger King? That story is over, guys. It was a bad investment to put your money in the Tiger King franchise. It's crazy to do a follow-up to Tiger King. That was a quarantine only. That was a week of quarantine. That's like when you go to summer camp.

And you like have your week long relationship. Yeah. And then the person that you're fucking for a week is like, so, and then you're like, Oh no, this is where it ends. And then America was like Tiger King still. It's crazy. It's crazy. I read that say that she's like back for the last part of the season because she was on leave shooting, you know, by bitch. I wonder if it's a, that means it's a, wait, wait, I just put this together. That means they're doing like a scripted. Oh yeah. Well, they already did a sequel to the documentary. Yeah, that's what I was thinking about in my head. I mean, whoever greenlit the Tiger King dramatization film and put $20 million into the cast. Their days are numbered. They looked at the Netflix stats on the Tiger King sequel, and they're like, oh, no. Uh-oh. There's a lot of movies to see right now, actually. I think I might have to go. Yeah, House of Gucci, bro. I don't want to see that. I want to see the Simon Rex movie. Yeah, I plan on seeing... I'll see your little licorice pizza. Let's do a double date to Westwood. We'll get some Persian food. We'll get a nice bowl of soup. It's getting chilly over here. We'll watch licorice. We should get some pizza. We'll get some gluten-free pie in Westwood. Nothing like some borscht. soup before I sell them out. We'll go over to LeBron's Blaze. Have you been to LeBron's Blaze before? Fuck no. Do we think it's bad? It's probably just fine. I assume it's like the Chipotle of pizza. Because what's the idea? It's just pizza. I think the idea is that it comes very quickly. It's a Blaze. It comes in a Blaze. Because it's like personal pizzas that are made with efficiency. And I think the ovens are like 900 degrees, so you order your pepperoni pizza or whatever it is, your barbecue chicken pizza, and it comes out in like two minutes instead of 20 minutes. Oh, I didn't realize that. Or 30 minutes or whatever. Yeah, there's so many of them. It really exploded. And also, speaking of films, do you know what the production studio Braun is? No. What are they responsible for? Whenever I see a movie in the theaters or whatever, like...

we were talking in the last episode with Patrick, there's 20 trailers for every film. And then there's always like, you know, the MGM logo or the search slide or whatever it is. And then, but now there's Braun Studios and they have this logo that is like a Chrome kind of like, it looks like a Ford F-150 logo. It's like an odd typeface. Oh, I've never seen that. But they're literally producing every single film. It doesn't matter what it is. They produce so many films. And I wonder if it's connected to LeBron James or not. No, I think his shit has a different name. I wonder, though, if that's like a studio that rebranded during COVID or something. You know what I mean? Because to come out of nowhere and be involved in everything is kind of crazy. Braun Studios is the main production company finance unit. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Braun Life. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, I'm going to check out some flicks this holiday season, even though I'm going to be disappointed. Fuck, bro. Sorry, I'm locked in. This is something that I should have worked out earlier. If you know LeBron James is connected to LeBron. No, LeBron, his production company has a different name. I know it because people have worked there. I'm just saying I'd be pissed if LeBron James was the biggest movie studio in the world. I mean, I wouldn't be surprised. I mean, he's the best pre-workout producer in the world. It's true. He's got GNC on lock. So does that mean you're not going to watch Sex and the City at all, Chris? Definitely not. I'm not ever watching Sex and the City and just like that. I'm not watching Succession. I'm not watching the Beatles, Doc. I don't care. I just do not care. I just want you to watch Sex and the City, man. It's so awful. It's crazy. No, but that's the thing. I've heard. I know it's awful, so I don't care. It's not that awful, though. You're the only person that said that. Each episode, we'll have 10 moments where I feel like jumping out of the window, it's so awful, and there'll be two jokes that are told by the one guy who's dead, Stanley. Yeah, dead IRL. Stanford comes through with some great lines, and then you're watching it. We talked about it, obviously, with Patrick, but...

And a lot of people want us to talk about it. Some people have said they think it's bad on purpose. Interesting. Which sounds like a TJ conspiracy theory. Yeah, because there are moments where the... Because she is a podcast host now. She's asked to be on a podcast where it's hosted by... somebody that is so non-binary yeah i know that i hate that actress she was on madam secretary one of my favorite shows she comes in the last couple seasons and like is the worst dressed person with like the worst haircut and i heard the her character and her performance it does make me think that it could be so bad on purpose but what i hope that it is who does that serve though why do that because it's I guess that she becomes a punching bag for that whole community, for all the 50-year-old women watching it who are confused about young people who are non-binary. I see. To be like, look at this fucking whatever the fuck this is. Because it's so over the top. She's podcasting and talking about... She'll go on a 50-word tirade involving every single word about... gender neutral politic blah blah oh like saying it's stupid no no saying it's great and then when after she says a great point yeah hit a button that says woke moment so it does feel like a little that's so far that yeah that has to i mean that's so far i know and i don't think that sex in the city is is playing 5d like that uh but i mean who knows who knows but you i when i was when i was When I was saying in the group chat that I cried all through episode two, I don't know what happened. I don't either, bro. I watched the first episode, and I was screaming at the television. If you need a Peloton that bad, we can get you one. I was screaming the whole time, like, what the fuck is going on? This is so awful. Like, the one guy's deaf, and all he does is complain about how he's deaf. The other, one person's an alcoholic who's getting dementia and Alzheimer's. Who's the alcoholic? Charlotte? Miranda.

Oh, really? Yes. She's drinking the whole time. She has a meeting that she's going to, and she stops in a West Village bar to get a Chablis. And there's a guy cleaning up the bar, and he's like, lady, we're not open until 11 a.m. And she looks at her phone, and it's like 1045, and she's like, oh, wait. She goes to a kid's piano recital and has a bottle of wine in her purse. She's doing shots before a funeral. I did overhear the part where she finds a used condom on her son's floor. That's another thing. No 17-year-old is leaving a used condom on the floor at their parents' house. They show a sex scene of this 16-year-old redhead kid who looks like the same kid, the same baby. Was he putting it down? Yeah. It shows a 16-year-old curly-haired redhead kid who I believe is the same child. Can you see the chick? And his girlfriend on top of him riding him. But there's no Yiddies out. No Yiddies out. There's no nudity, but it's still technically child pornography. Oh, let's not go that far. I mean, it shows. clearly intercourse between two minors wow jason where's my woke moment button because i need it for you right now i mean i'm not saying that i climaxed to this i'm saying this is wrong to show on time i know and that's why it's oh you think that it's right we should be showing i mean i think it's a dramaticization like you said you know just like jason said i think it's acting bro Like, you can't expect this. It's not realistic. He's knocking it. 16-year-old redhead guys don't have sex. It's not realistic. No. And he's knocking the headboard, and it's banging. And the husband, since he's deaf, he can't hear it. And she's walking around. Like, what world does a mom walk around where you hear, and you're like, oh, that's just my 16-year-old. In the next, there's three inches of drywall separating me and my 16-year-old.

Fucking. And the wife is just like, oh, well. I mean, look, bro. If that happened, like my mom is the nicest, sweetest woman in the world. She would have a problem with that. She doesn't want to hear. Broomstick on the door like, all right, guy. She doesn't want Big TJ getting it in in her household. I mean, if my chick's mom heard that, I mean, she would come in with a fucking kitchen knife. I'd be tied up. I'd be. burned with cigarettes. They'd have to drag me out of there. I mean, in a stretcher. Times have changed, Jason. It's crazy. Peloton stock is down 11% because Big died after writing it. And I believe that the person, the instructor is a real instructor. Allegra. Yeah, she's a real instructor. She's not my flavor. I hate her. I've taken her class before. Really? Yeah. What does that do for her career? I was talking about this yesterday. I mean – Does Peloton – because they use the word Peloton in it. The Peloton bike is prominently shown in multiple scenes, and they don't – they could just say a workout class, a spin class. No, but if Allegra, who is employed by Peloton, did that, they knew it was coming and didn't do anything legally because they must not be able to. But I'm saying they had to clear this ahead of time, and someone at Peloton is – was either like, oh, I don't see any problem with one of the stars of the show riding our Peloton bike and then having a heart attack instantly afterwards. That's fine and normal. That won't hurt our business whatsoever. Or did they just say, hey, we want to feature Peloton in this show, and they're like, cool. And then they don't say that the guy is going to die after riding it because can't you sue for defamation or something like that? No, what happens is 100%. You get an email. This company has lost billions of dollars after one episode. They also, I mean, they kill kids with the treadmill and they're back, baby. It's fine. No, I think what happens is, I'm speculating, I think they ask, like, hey, we're going to have a Peloton bike in Sex and the City. And if you don't ask any more questions and sign the paper, that's on you. I guess so. You know what I'm saying? So if you sign a release for that, then it won't even go to court. Yeah, and any brand.

that gets that call is probably so excited, especially Peloton because they had had some bad press lately with the, with the treadmill. They got Brad shot. They got Brad shot. Damn. Talked you right out of your little Peloton panties, didn't they? It's crazy, bro. That's crazy. But you know, I'm still not going to watch the show. Thank you for all the spoilers. Bro, you gotta watch it. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I don't know how it was. It was weird. Cause like my, my life partner and I, we have not been fighting or anything like that. But there's been a lot of, like, stress around the house, hanging out with family, travel, work's really busy. So it's like there's a lot of, I don't know, repressed emotions or pent-up aggression. There was no whatever for it. And then she had been stressed and working a lot. I had been not as much as that, but, you know. Other stuff going on. We had just spent all day in traffic driving to hang out with our family. And I was like, we're going to go home. We're going to watch Sex and the City. We're going to keep our cell phones in the other room. We're going to pay attention to it. We're not going to look at Zillow or real estate while we're doing this. We're not going to heart things on the real rule while we're doing this. Boring. And we both bawled our eyes out. Stupid ass sex in the city. Bro, I'd rather put my hand through the drywall than cry at new sex in the city. I'm saying. Call me problematic. I don't care how the tears come out. As long as they come out, it's a net positive. All right. Well, I guess I'll listen to Elliot Smith today because I'm all set on. I ain't going to cry over some fictitious television. Next time you're on a flight, maybe you can watch it. Yeah. Will you do that for me, Chris? I'll think about it once the hubbub is over. But mostly for me, succession is over today. Sundays are better than Saturdays. Now that I'm old and I don't want to interact with any other people, I look forward to Sundays more than Saturdays. I bet you do too. No, I don't. I don't look forward to anything. I literally don't look forward to anything. Every day is the same. Looking forward? Who's she? The only thing I look forward to is when I see a fucking Zelle hit. That's the only thing I look forward to, bro. I ain't looking forward to any day of the week. It's all the fucking same. Well, that's not true. Monday, Wednesday, Friday.

i look forward to because those are the hunter days okay there's also the days that this podcast comes out i thought that's where you're going but no podcast is is look i love doing the podcast but i mean at this clip i i can barely keep up with how many we have coming out i don't have time to look forward to an episode coming out because it just came it already came out we're on to the next one yeah we're on to the next one um so some announcements before we go yeah one The merchandise that we were selling on tour that was only available at our live shows, if you go to howlonggone.com and click the shop button, most of that merchandise is up for sale. Not all the sizes are up there, but we got all the T-shirts, hoodies, hats are up there. International shipping is good. We'll put it up. It'll be up tomorrow. It's up right now, so you can cop, and it will ship to you before the holiday season if you need to. Yeah, if you're really trying to get in the doghouse, you can buy him some podcast merch for the holidays. Nothing I want to see more in my stocking than a How Long Gone hat to really. That's right. And then a friend of the show, Stevie, he took the time to make a Spotify playlist of every song that I've put at the end of every episode of this show. which is a cool thing. Let me find out what that playlist is called on Spotify. And I'll probably be adding to it as well. But yeah, if you just go on Spotify and look up How Long Gone EP Outros, there'll be a playlist created by Stevie Dreher. D-R-E-H-E-R. And all the songs are there. If you ever wondered what that song was on the end of the episode, boom, there you go. And there's some fucked up songs on here that I did not remember putting on here. Yeah, that's why you keep the ketamine by the computer. We got some big pods this week. Oh, Hillary Duff come clean. Merry Christmas to all of you. We're giving you the gift of podcasting. Yeah, we're recording many, many, we're recording five episodes this week. Are we actually? I think four. Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. We're doing five episodes in a row.

But that's because the holiday season's coming up. We'll bank a few so we can maybe take a week off. But we got some motherfucking legends coming together. We have some stepping up to the How Long Gone microphone. It only gets bigger. Honestly, it's very exciting. So thank you guys for listening. Thank you guys for buying the merch. And we'll continue to give you the gift of great pods. Shit, yeah, in our CD. We get the CD tomorrow, I believe. We're going to be signing some copies for Amoeba, and there's going to be a little bundle, you know what I'm saying, not of Hair Ron, but a simple bundle of CD and T-shirt. We have a co-branded How Long Gone Jag Jag You Are long sleeve that Sam Jane was kind enough to put together for us, so we'll keep you up to date on that. But yeah, December 17th is the release date, I think, yeah? Yeah. 17th? Which is in five days. Yeah, which is in five days, so, you know. And that should be shipped, hopefully, before the holidays. And you guys also, if you want to line up outside of me, that's a cop. I mean, I wouldn't. Yeah, I want to drive by Amoeba and see a mile-long snow peak tent. Yeah, exactly. I want it to look like a Mariah Carey single coming out in 1999. I want it to look like the used is played in Three Nights at the Fonda. I want you to think of us like TRL. You know what I mean? You're lining up. Yeah. Let's see some different tents on Hollywood Boulevard.